


No Matter the Cost

by type_username_here



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur - Freeform, Arthur is gone, Emotional Hurt, Evil Merlin, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Merlin, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), I wrote this instead of homework, Immortal Merlin, Magic, Merlin - Freeform, Merlin is a Little Shit, Whump, accept it, he dead, merlin evil, merlin is insane, merlin is more than comedic relief, merlin lonely, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:33:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/type_username_here/pseuds/type_username_here
Summary: It's funny really, what a millennium or two will do to the mind. A person can only linger for so long and Merlin's done waiting.orMerlin`s tired of waiting for Arthur so he takes matters into his own hands.





	No Matter the Cost

It's funny really, what a millennium or two will do to the mind. You can only watch so many civilizations rise and fall before it becomes predictable, before you know how to get around governments and how to manipulate those closest to you. An individual can only go so long before they begin to despise the very person that they are waiting for, until hate gives way to guilt that rots and decays into an ugly sadness. 

Merlin knows this. 

Merlin knows many things now. 

He knows that the world is not just black and white. He understands that good people can do bad things with the right intentions and that bad people can do worse things for no reason whatsoever. It has occurred to Merlin more than once that perhaps his blood has been tainted over the centuries. He is aware that his intentions have shifted with time, grown and changed, becoming a twisted shadow of what they once were. But can you blame him? At least he can say that he still has the same end goal in mind, Arthur deserves that much. 

The lore and the legends always said that Arthur would come back when the world needed him the most, but Merlin’s tired of waiting. He`s tired of sitting in plush chairs and kicking cans down sidewalks. He`s bored of rescuing the world from itself, saving the entire population of earth twice before Friday. 

But above everything else, Merlin`s tired of losing. It used to be so easy to make a friend, to exchange tips and secrets, learn names and make sweet memories, but they all go sour eventually. 

People die. That`s a fact that Merlin has learned and will never forget. Friends, family, strangers, neighbours, they all die and with them their memories. And Merlin is tired of it. 

So here he stands. Smoke fills his nose and lungs as he distinctly wonders if this is what it feels like to be a dragon. To have so much power, to lay dormant for so long, to know that at any moment you can end everything. Merlin realizes that it must be the most addictive feeling in the world. 

There is a baby screaming in the distance, Merlin can’t tell if it wants its mother or it’s dying. Maybe both, but he can’t find it in him to care because Arthur is coming home, and Arthur will be with him again. 

No matter what it takes.

**Author's Note:**

> It`s garbage. I know. :|
> 
> But, just ...like please give me constructive criticism cause I`m here to improve my writing.  
> thx :p


End file.
